In the enigmatic world of Czon, between the years 2019-2020 I disappeared.
The time before was an etched a saga of turmoil and tribulations,
starting with the grand exhibitions in Spain at Agua de Busot / Balneario de Aigües in Alicante. The tumults continued at Sanatorium di Espuna, where La Guardia struggled to deter art enthusiasts from delving into the enigmatic exhibition and a riot / clash evolved.
Amidst the artistiv chaos, the era of the plague descended with the advent of Corona/COVID and I was Seeking a different life..
I embarked on a European odyssey with the one I loved. Her internal demons became a battleground, pulling me into despair, and my own codependency.
We gave up, Seven years together crumbled, the demons prevailed.
She now flees them, appearing untouched, while the turmoil within rages, hunts her.
She, a perpetual part of me, a reflection of everything pursued by those in search of life, passion, and carefree happiness. Yet, within, a tapestry of shattered dreams and condemned souls. The only life we know.
Her silence, self-inflicted pain, the on/off dynamic, the abandonment and diminishment—the Discard, the ghosting and silent treatments, discomfort, apathy, and manipulative techniques.To dare to love someone is a perilous endeavor.
I wish she had dared to love herself—for both our sakes.
If only she could see herself as I perceived her,
she would comprehend that she embodies everything.
Today, it's too late for me, for her, for us. Time flowed, and we flowed with it.
The days following our parting, a decree was issued—I was doomed, sent to the valley of shadows and death, where silence and cold perpetually reign.
The everlasting darkness.
Realizing the brevity of time, a resolve blossom within me—to create once more.
A final struggle, a testament, an unappreciated legacy: "Long live Czon."
The form it will take remains veiled in uncertainty ?
Now, in the heart of July, self-disappointment, pain intertwines with resignation, knowing that I'm on the precipice of the surgeon's knife but an overarching feeling whispers, "Game over," signaling the conclusion for a fervent, doorky artist such as myself.
Perhaps our paths will cross, perhaps we will converse; in truth, I no longer know.
Dark thoughts about all my life's failures.
Success brought nothing, no happiness. The wounds I bear are all symbolic of failures, etched deep, felt through and through. The anxiety of being bound, unable to exert influence—a curse that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.
For those unfamiliar with my art,
I invite you to see beyond the rawness. It delves into personal demons, those relentless whispers that always lingered, the dreams shattered,
the visions and utopias once passionately dreamed, sought after, attempted to realize.
The relentless pursuit of pulse and life. The woman - the embodiment of strength, the force of nature. Perhaps one day, you'll see the art for what it truly is: my art, my works, my reality.
The recent image in this post, captured just days ago in Krapperup with Beholdthelandofsin, initially bore no specific theme in mind.
Yet, in retrospect, its significance reverberates.
Hades, the man in the relationship,
the king of the underworld, withered away and met his demise after a sojourn in our world—alone, without his beloved by his side or anyone else who cared.
On his journey to the underworld, on his deathbed, he reflected on his life.
The love for those he once cherished endured within,
but those he loved were gone, perhaps never even existing.
He was all alone, abandoned, repressed, forgotten by those who said they care.
As he relinquished hope in his dying moments, he returned home—to the underworld, to his garden. And there stood Persephone. In that poignant encounter, he realized she embodied all the women he had ever loved, each facet encapsulated in one form.
He understood—he wasn't a cool devil, god, or ruler of the underworld. He was a mere pawn in her cosmic game. Now, more afraid of her beauty, fragility, and strength...
For all of you out there, take care, we only live ones, thats now.
Love / Czon
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